My First Time
December 2022
It's almost 2023 and 2008 seems like a lifetime ago. I remember all of those first times. The first time trying to make it as a single mom. The first time I experienced a holiday without my kids. The first time all three of us were sick and there was no one else around to help. The first time I woke up alone in the middle of the night to make sure everything was perfect on Christmas morning. The first time I noticed that the only gifts under my tree were the few for my kids - nothing for me. Yes, in December 2008, I was 2 1/2 months in as a single mother, and I was finally figuring it all out - the secrets to being a successful single parent.
Ha! Nope. Absolutely not. I had a long, long way to go. Many, many years, if I'm being honest. My son had just turned 1 and my daughter was 3. That first Christmas I was filled with so much fear, anger, hurt, confusion, loss, and overwhelm, and I had lost so much weight from the stress I was feeling. I wasn't sleeping. I was exhausted. I desperately wanted to appear happy and be the perfect mom for my kids to shield their pain and discomfort of learning new routines of the back and forth.
It's easy to hide behind a smile, but kids feel the suffering and tension. I had so much to learn and so much change ahead of me. And you know, I survived. We survived. Was it smooth sailing? Not always. But, it got easier. This blip in my life did pass and is now a world away.
The three of us have had some challenging times, but we've grown together, learned patience, and the amount of joy and positive change we have experienced as a family makes me proud. I cannot wait to watch my daughter graduate in five months and see where she chooses to go next. My son's high school journey has just started, and he is off to a great start. This family has persevered and is stronger and more confident as a result of our journey.
If you are going through divorce or struggling as a single parent, reach out by clicking the link above or copying and pasting the following: bit.ly/augsletstalk
